The writings of Oddpoet

I will get through this piece with­out a sin­gle F bomb just to prove to you I can do it.
I will use frig, ass, shit but that will be it, so the “sen­si­tive mem­bers” of my read­ing pub­lic will not be offended.

As a species, the human race has an over­whelm­ing desire to acquire knowl­edge; it is hard wired in us.  We have to Know.

When in my first col­lege I started a move­ment to get the frig­gin busi­ness majors thrown out of the school.  I wanted the whole busi­ness pro­gram removed.  If you want to be a cor­po­rate whore go to a cor­po­ra­tion and do it there, do not taint this place of higher edu­ca­tion with your foul whore like busi­ness prac­tices.  I felt strongly about it and I friggen meant it.  I got thrown out of that col­lege.  Oh Well.

When the State gets involved with the acqui­si­tion of knowl­edge we are frigged.  It is usu­ally to find bet­ter ways to kill each other.  We are never sat­is­fied; we need big­ger and more effec­tive ways of doing it.  It is what we do best.  Started with sticks, stones, swords, cat­a­pults, guns, artillery, mus­tard gas, germ war­fare right up to what I call the big fire­cracker: The Atomic bomb.  Even med­ical advances were fueled by war­fare.  The object of war is to kill more of them than they kill of us.  So, we had to save as many of our guys as we could, not because we care, only because we want to win.

The big fire­cracker.   Robert Oppen­heimer is cred­ited with being the “father of the atomic bomb” He only ran the Man­hat­tan project, which devel­oped it.  The Knowl­edge required was cumu­la­tive, sort of like “dialectic(s)” I’ll bas­tardize it with: the­sis, antithe­sis and syn­the­sis.  This is an idea, a counter idea and new knowl­edge as a result of the argu­ment.  This shit goes on and on and that is how knowl­edge grows.

Back to the fire­cracker.  Ein­stein and sev­eral other sci­en­tist wrote to Pres­i­dent Roo­sevelt about how the Ger­mans were build­ing a really, really big fire­cracker.  So Roo­sevelt says” “How big?”  “Well big enough to destroy a city.”  Roo­sevelt replies: “we GOTTA get one of them!”  Oppen­heimer heads the project and the bomb is devel­oped.  Dur­ing the ini­tial “Trin­ity test” (irony?)  He is pur­ported to have said, “If the radi­ance of a thou­sand suns were to burst at once into the sky, that would be like the splen­dor of the mighty one. Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.”  Proud of that one aren’t you Bob.
Always wanted to send him a happy father’s day card dur­ing the anniver­saries of the drop­ping of the bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  Well I am, as I told you, a real ball breaker.

One last point on the big fire­cracker.  We are so figged up as a species that we recently devel­oped a “Neu­tron Bomb” Kills all the peo­ple but does less dam­age to the real estate.  We are a prac­ti­cal lot.

The Famous Shaman Crow­beak, world renowned mys­tic and meta­phys­i­cal pur­veyor of absolute wis­dom.  Well what peo­ple do not know was that Crow­beak was walk­ing around eat­ing magic mush­rooms like he was pop­ping tic-tacs!  He was so spaced out he would stag­ger around say­ing shit like “When leaf falls from tree and touched mother earth, grav­ity is thus proven.”  Some­one over­hears him and says, “What did he just say? Sounded pretty deep.”  Then, “When cater­pil­lar eats leaves off tree, tree dies, and then tree knows it was alive.”  Pretty soon you have a friggen horde of peo­ple fol­low­ing him around smack­ing there fore­heads say­ing, “this guy is bril­liant”  peo­ple are writ­ing his shit down yelling “get me more paper”  Point being, even if some­thing does not make sense the human mind will wrap itself around it and force it to make sense.

Rhetoric, which means I know more shit about a sub­ject than you do.  I am/was very good at this because I had a secrete weapon” The Dis­tin­guished Pro­fes­sor Wil­helm Von Schwimm.”  Well he did not exist; I made him up, but would often call upon his exper­tise on what­ever sub­ject mat­ter I was debat­ing to prove what point I needed to prove.  “Well accord­ing to the Dis­tin­guished Pro­fes­sor Wil­helm Von Schwimm Bla…Bla…bla…“
Well, point here is peo­ple do not like to think they don’t know some­thing or some­body and will accept what you tell them because they do not want to look stu­pid.  Try it.

Hang in there almost done.

Socrates! My main man devel­oped the Socratic Method.  You can read a whole bunch of bull­shit on this if you want but I can sum it up in two sen­tences and a quote.  In fact Socrates whole life! Not many peo­ple can do shit like that, well I am the Poet. Here goes:
1.People don’t know shit.
2.When forced to talk long enough they will prove they don’t know shit.
I will need to call on Oscar Wilde for the quote, “Oscar if you would, please.“
“When you want to tell some­one the truth make them laugh, oth­er­wise they’ll kill you.“
“Thanks Oscar, you can go back to the grave now.”

That is basi­cally it.  And they killed Socrates because he was a ball breaker and he did not make them laugh.  For exam­ple:
A bunch of Athe­ni­ans are in the Parthenon talk­ing about the lat­est play ‘Danc­ing with the Nymphs” (And you thought ours was the only vapid cul­ture? No, Vapid­ity has been around for a long, long time.) “I believe Themis­to­cles dance with Nymph Amalthea was superior.”…“No dear Ducea­nees Lato and the nymph Arethusa were much bet­ter.”  Well in walks Socrates and the whole Parthenon rolls their col­lec­tive eyes up to the sky and say, “Oh shit, here comes that ball breaker.”  “He would ask well what do you mean by bet­ter?” Ducea­nees would say “I mean supe­rior…. “  Well pretty soon Socrates would have Ducea­nees throw­ing his arms up in the air say­ing, “Alright I don’t frig­gin know leave me the frig alone!”  Well they killed him!  Bastards!

What does all this mean? Well we have come full cir­cle, right back to the Exis­ten­tial­ists: Noth­ing, life is absurd!

Twenty Five years ago a young Father was dri­ving down inter­state 95 with his two young sons in the back seat, it’s Christ­mas eve, and they are singing Jin­gle Bells and Joy to the World and all of sud­den an ass­hole in a pickup truck with the tail­gate down and a large unse­cured motor in it, hits a bump, motor flies out, goes through wind­shield and decap­i­tates young Father (giv­ing cre­dence to the the­ory that no two objects can occupy the same space at the same time) A mir­a­cle the two young ones sur­vived.  YES! Life is absurd.

Can never, never get that out of my head it is burned in there.

Here it is:
1.We have to know shit.
2.Killing each other is a large moti­va­tional fac­tor in the know­ing of shit.
3.Even if we don’t know shit we will force our­selves to know shit
4.No one wants to admit they don’t know shit
5.When push comes to shove no one knows shit
6.What is the dif­fer­ence because life is absurd.

Well all wrapped up in a nice pack­age, not bad, even if I say so.
Life is absurd, how­ever find your own mean­ings, make it moral, be good to one another and choose your own God or higher power and believe.  Else, I will be forced to come to your fuck­ing house and pull a Socrates on you fuck­ing ass.

Yea, I lied about the F bombs.

I remain, never humbly,
The Odd­est of Poets

Tags: Humor

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