Archive for February 1st, 2010

What Matters To You~para~

Monday, February 1st, 2010

I could
Har­ness my heart to your will,
Caress your cheek with the tip of my pen,
And that would be enough for you



Wouldn’t it?



To just fol­low you with hands like the wind
Around your waist
Hold­ing you
But not hold­ing you back…
That would be enough for you.



I want that too but



My hands need touch
My lips need to know the breath that lingers
Just out of reach but close enough
To reclaim
My mind needs com­fort
My heart needs accep­tance
My soul needs rest
In know­ing that it’s ok to be human
And dying
That it’s ok
To want you, to need you…



You offer my death daily
And I accept
In full agree­ment…
But you never feel the tears shed
For the loss of my needs
My desires.



When will I mat­ter…



©Jen2010 1–31


Release me ~Para~

Monday, February 1st, 2010

My face is blis­tered by the demands

The sug­ges­tions to free

Cut and cauterized–

They’ve hurt me.

Have you not heard me pleading

For the release of all that caresses?

His release.

Have you not heard me beg­ging to the presses

All these years?

I’ve done what was asked

Walked across acres upon acres of shards of glass

Passed razors through the maze of my soul

Dis­sected my heart with a mon­o­cle mirror

And I’m whole

I’ve for­given my fingers

And I’m whole…



But his release–

His release demands of my mind’s eye

His suf­fer­ing rakes the embers of my need

To sus­tain my high

Blis­tered and scarred

Ris­ing to an inferno I can’t disregard

And my fin­gers beseech thee

As my con­science screeches to me daily


Release him


Just release him so my sight can see

He lives with­out me

Sat­is­fac­to­rily

Allow me to wit­ness him serene

In the wild

Liv­ing out his most desired dream

And he will be filed under case closed.

I’ve done what was asked

I’ve inhaled the rose

And suf­fered each thorn as it passed

Licked the morn­ing dew from your boots

Uprooted roots I thought would never be free

And rotated eye­balls to view within

The bloody inter­nal mas­sacre of sin and debris…

I guess I just don’t know what you want from me



But you know what I want from you

Oh you’ve always known what I want from you

And you hold it close to your chest

Under lock and key and duress

I could kill myself, leave a sim­ple note of sin­gu­lar pleas

But you still wouldn’t give me what I need–

His release.

For his release is mine



And you’ll never let me go


Blis­tered and mangled

You’ll never let me go as such…

I’ve seen too much.



©Jen2010 1–31

Get Adobe Flash player

Uses wordpress plugins developed by www.wpdevelop.com

© 2010-2012 The writings of Oddpoet All Rights Reserved -- Copyright notice by BLOGFORM