Posts Tagged ‘self-knowledge’

Meant to Bleed

Monday, November 8th, 2010

All my fault
I wanted to belong
To be a part of it
Always peer­ing through that gate
That fence
That cage
That caul

So they gave me
The white pills
And the tan pills
The big pills
and cute lit­tle foot­balls
All very sci­en­tific
Stamped and approved
By the FDA

Would they change me?
Would I no longer be
Who I am?
They laugh at me
Ain’t that the point
You stu­pid mother fucker!

I took em
I hear them Yippie-yi-yo-ki-yaying
Through by blood­stream
like kids on a water slide
But when they get to my brain
Oh they get seri­ous
I can hear the clang of ham­mers
And dron­ing sounds of drills
And the rum­ble of heavy machin­ery
Earth movers and cranes
A mech­a­nized symphony

And they don’t change me
They don’t change any­thing
Numb me for an hour or two
Bout it.

You can never fix a bro­ken mir­ror
or read a book
With miss­ing pages
Mute peo­ple can’t talk
And the deaf can’t hear
Some things are just meant
To be bro­ken
cracked and imper­fect
Some things are just meant
To bleed

So I can never have their love
or their joy
or their beauty
their con­tent­ments
their smiles

I don’t under­stand them
And they’ll never under­stand me
Noth­ing wrong with that
Just the way it is
Some things are just meant to be bro­ken
Some things are just meant to bleed.

Carousel

Sunday, April 18th, 2010

The world spins
The omnipresent com­post heap
Obey­ing New­ton­ian laws
Uncon­cerned
Cold
Distant

It don’t give a Fuck
If you live
Or if you die

It just

Turns

And you die

One day at a time

Clocks do not exist in nature
Just our way
Of count­ing down

To check out time

Lord how we hate those ticks

Tick

Tick

Tick

It approx­i­mates the beat
Of a heart

Which

One day

Will no longer

Tick

Don’t worry bout it

The Carousel

Is still going

To

Spin

The Poet

Monday, February 15th, 2010

Sirens sing the song of death
While rental cops lay cones down
Restrict­ing traf­fic



They have come for me.



I am the Poet
The truth
My words are carved in the flesh of inno­cence
Scrawled in cheap uri­nals
Chis­eled in the faded gray paint of shit holes
Of lonely tomor­rows
I dry the tears of the hope­less
Scream with the home­less
I sing truth that hum­bles Gods
I am Prometheus, Sisy­phus



I cut the throat of pompous laugh­ter
And kill its first born
I eat the soul of dread­ful nor­malcy
I walk the edge and con­versed with mad­men
My words rever­ber­ate in trash strewed alleys
My tread echoed in the halls of jails and men­tal insti­tu­tions
Shared secrets with bro­ken soul­less junkies



I am truths
That freeze men’s souls
And the lies they swear by
The burn­ing blade cut­ting teth­ered souls
Illu­mi­nat­ing light­en­ing



I am the Devi­ate fondling sacred sex­u­al­ity
The ser­ial killer cov­ered in Blood
Suck­ing life from vic­tims
With last breath curs­ing God
Whim­per­ing
“Why me?”



I am the throne­less king
The voice­less trou­ba­dour
The song no one will sing
I am the invis­i­ble chill
That fon­dles your spine
I am dis­com­fort
The night­mare
The book no one will read
I am words no want wants to hear
I am …


Smile for the Devil

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

Ringed
Inside kalei­do­scopic brim­stone
A Hierony­mus Bosch Vegas strip



Sans tourist



Smoth­er­ing vapors of sul­fu­ric mists
Tor­tures gasp­ing breath

Ya wanna scream

Mommy”

But

Mommy ain’t here



Fish faced generic pedes­tri­ans
whose idea of a good time
Is a home car­pen­try project
Approved by Norm him­self



They sit behind rein­forced
Plex­i­glas
In air con­di­tioned
Save-way stores
Plead­ing
For dis­counts
And
The real deal



The demonic choir
Sing
Johnny Cash
With gui­tars
Made of human skulls
Stringed with the sinews
Of dead heroes



Big D
Enters
The circle

Wit a
Impec­ca­bly coif­fured
Elvis Doo

I guess every­body
Loves
The king



“You stay­ing Poet?”

Don’t think so D
But thanks for
Asking”

Ya know Your time is coming”

Decided?

Up or down?

Think I might start
My own after­life D



Big D
Gives me an Elvis
My Way flour­ish
Swirling his black sequined cape

Get­ting into that phony

Elvis karate stance.



“Sounds inter­est­ing Poet
You always did know how to style
If you need a hand
You know where to find me”

Cool D”

And I rolled.


Imperfect Creature

Thursday, November 26th, 2009

I’ve been forged in the white hot heat of pas­sion
I’ve been annealed and tem­pered in the fur­nace of Despair
I’ve been honed and sharp­ened by teacher Pain
I’ve spent time amid the home­less
And writ­ten poems with the insane



I am the cylin­der that mis­fired
Pointed at my head
I am the bro­ken rope
Wealed and con­gealed
Upon my throat
Even Death rejects me



I am the scarred man
The imper­fect crea­ture
Fun­nels run down my cheeks
Home for famil­iar tears



While you are edg­ing your lawn this week­end
And putting down the weed and feed
Know we are out there



Watch­ing…
Wait­ing…
Feel­ing
Cry­ing…
Know­ing…
Liv­ing…
Dying…



We are the imper­fect Crea­tures
God’s aban­doned Chil­dren
And we are everywhere

Artist…Wherefore art Thou?

Monday, November 23rd, 2009


From the begin­ning, we have col­lec­tively asked. Who are we?

More to the point, “Who am I?

Let us start, afore­men­tioned query, with my good friend, Sig­mund Freud.

Sig, if I might be so bold, devel­oped a the­ory of the Human Psy­che, Soul, Heart, define it as you will, the following:

  1. Ego, well, one’s opin­ion of him/herself.

  2. ID, a mish­mash of rep­til­ian brain desires, wants, and needs. Kind of like me watch­ing the 24 year old across the street with the too short shorts, half her ass hang­ing out and bend­ing over every chance she gets. So my “ID” says. “Poet nail that hot babe.” Which leads us to the:

  3. Super­ego, Con­science. Can’t do that shit Poet you be a bad boy!!!!

Freud the­o­rized that that Super­ego starts with the parent’s remon­stra­tions to the ego and id infested dick weeds that are the infant human. Of course that evolves into peer pres­sure, social mores and the frig­gin State’s, dare I say val­ues? Back to the infant, well, “Don’t stick that fork into your brother’s eye Poet that is “bad” Savvy?

That is what infants are, a frig­ging pain in the ass!

Every mam­mal infant is born with a too large head and very large eyes, which evokes in all us the col­lec­tive, “isn’t it “CUTE!” Check it out your­self! Look at a baby Rac­coon or what­ever.. Espe­cially you Babes, you girls are hard­wired for that response; else we would kill them! All the friggs do is cry, “I’m hun­gry”, “wipe my ass”, “My tummy hurts” “WHINE!”

We would cer­tainly kill them if they were not so “cute.”

As an aside, I toss to you Freud’s book “Future of an Illu­sion” where he den­i­grates Reli­gion as an “Illu­sion” Not sure if it was he or Marx who called Reli­gion the “Opi­ate of the peo­ple” Of course Sig was snort­ing mas­sive lines of unstepped on pure frig­gin coke. And as he was winc­ing over the “drip” he con­tin­ues…… “The Illu­sion which is Religion”….sniff…sniff…snort….snort….”  Yea, let­ting a coke head tell us who we are is not always a good idea.

Nice try Sig! Sorry, close! But you have not “nailed” it!

Mov­ing on.

The Behav­ior­ist.

Well, these Dudes and Dudetts believe that behav­ior (us) can be reduced to stim­u­lus and response. Given the proper stim­uli a pred­i­ca­ble response will occur. They are in the ball­park at least. B.F. Skin­ner noted “Behav­ior­ist” invented the “Skin­ner Box” of course he really didn’t because a lot of peo­ple before him did the work but he gets the glory. Kind of like Pom­pey being feted and hav­ing his Tri­umph through the streets of Rome while the poor frig who actu­ally won the war winds up being dead. Such price glory.

They do inter­est­ing thing in Skin­ner Boxes’ like: put a lab rat in one, with 2 levers, one which when depressed, deliv­ers food, the other, “poor unstepped on Freudian coke.” Hmmm…. I won­der… Well the rat presses the coke lever every frig­gin time and will starve to death. That is the nature of addic­tion; you con­stantly chase that ini­tial instance of eupho­ria. The brain does that nat­u­rally with Dopamine, a neu­ro­trans­mit­ter; How­ever, Dopamine and asso­ci­ated neu­ron synap­tic fir­ing required to pro­duce eupho­ria are destroyed in the process and you are left with your “Drug of Choice” chas­ing “that”, which you can never again have. Well Death and over dose fol­low. I have heard the ‘song” too many times. Close friends…………………..

Mov­ing on… (Almost done, hang in there. I will tie it up com­plete, rib­bon freely given, in a nice lit­tle pack­age! Have I ever let you down?)

Finally to the “I won­der what would hap­pen if…” Sci­en­tist, who decides to see what hap­pens if we stick elec­trodes into a rat’s brain….Hmmmm….

Well neces­sity dic­tates I get a bit gross here. In the begin­ning they prob­a­bly just jammed an over­sized elec­trode into the Rat’s unanes­thetized brain; which had the liv­ing entity writhing in extreme pain. “Can’t do any­thing with this sucker Bill”… flush….Next!

So they even­tu­ally dis­cover you had to anes­thetize it, peel the Rat’s skull open, expose the entity’s brain and gen­tly place the elec­trode into the brain and find truth! Of course you can not ini­tially go to a med­ical sup­ply store and ask for a “rat skull puller offer” and get an “aisle 6, half way down, right side” response. No, you have to make that shit up as you go. Of course they fried a few brains before they got the proper charge right. Even­tu­ally they go: “Look Fred if I stim­u­late this sec­tion his right foot moves, this sec­tion “Look the frig­ger will not stop eat­ing” They have a good time with that and they all take turns push­ing ‘the” but­ton till the rat dies of overeat­ing. Its’ sati­ety response of course muted by the friggs! Is that not the nature of empir­i­cal sci­en­tific inquiry? They have done this on Humans. Do not doubt me! Inmates, mil­i­tary peo­ple and indi­gents. Had a friend who was in the mil­i­tary who was exper­i­mented on. He hung him­self and is no longer with us. Another sad song I can sing.

There is even one sec­tion of the rat’s brain that, when stim­u­lated, will pro­duce a Lib­er­ace, meets Fred Astair with John Tra­volta on steroids Salsa dance. I mean the frig­ger is on his hind legs and danc­ing the night away. Well, I am flu­ent in sev­eral ani­mal lan­guages and they tell me this.

What does this mean? Well the Sci­en­tist seeks to define the inde­fin­able! They seek truth and find only knowl­edge. It is the Heisen­berg Uncer­tainty Prin­ci­ple. They know one fact but, by know­ing, they can not know any­thing ELSE!!!!!!! As much as they try to quan­tify, alpha­beti­cize and cat­e­go­rize us, they can not!

You see we are neb­u­lae, enshrouded in mys­tery, con­tain therein, is an ember, faint, yet glow­ing, in the dark­ness of our night. It is the spark of the Divine!!! YES!!!!!! We are a thread in the weave of the uni­ver­sal cloth. Call it the “Soul” if you so desire. We are indeed Divine and we do live on when our hearts stop pump­ing, when we “shed off this mor­tal coil”. It is you! The Poet, the Musi­cian, the Painter, the Sto­ry­teller that sing our Truth, our Divin­ity. And it only you, who can teach us and tell us “who we are.”

So wield thy Quill Poet! Sing your song Musi­cian! Paint your mas­ter­piece and tell your story. Then and only then will we truly know Truth!

Artist!… Is that not what you do?

I take my leave with Yeats haunt­ing words, “Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.” Ahhh! Is that not Beauty?…Truth?…..

I remain, ever constant,

The Odd­est of Poets

Get Adobe Flash player

Uses wordpress plugins developed by www.wpdevelop.com

© 2010-2012 The writings of Oddpoet All Rights Reserved -- Copyright notice by BLOGFORM